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Thursday, September 6, 2007

Denial to Acceptance

This post is going to be lengthy. I've decided not to miss or skip anything unless I make myself clear; very clear. I read about this in a management book by Andrew S Grove - Only The Paranoid Survive. The book is about exploiting crisis points that challenge every company. Those crisis points which can make business diminish or make them grow enormous.

While reading that book, I understood one thing - Crisis points not only challenges any company. There are so many crisis points in our individual lives. Points like ..

  1. Failing in a dream-examination
  2. Dumped by your loved one
  3. Losing your loved ones
  4. Even ... a kid losing his favorite toy

All those points, which influence your life more or less can be taken as crisis points in your life coz, they change your lifestyle; for atleast some time.

Andy Grove tells that each crisis point is taken by a company in different states. On further research, I found some page on the net dealing with some health disorder which tells that most individuals face those crisis points of their life in five stages - Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. For some individuals, some stages are lengthier, some are shorter, some stages don't even come. In brief, the stages can be explained as ...

1. Denial - The "No, not me" stage
This stage is filled with disbelief and denial. Company or individual thinks that what ever is happening in their life is NOT happening. They think that its a bad dream.

Individual who failed the exam won't accept the fact that he/she failed. The person who was dumped prefers to think that its a nightmare. If the person is dead, individuals won't accept their death. You could have seen people talking to dead bodies for some time.

2. Anger/Resentment - The "Why me ?" stage
This stage results in anger at the person whom you perceive as reason for everything.

Failed guy scolding the examiner or his friend who disturbed him during his preparation. Dumped person's anger on the guy/girl who was close to their loved ones. God would be usual target for family of dead person. Kids jumping at some one near by them when they've lost their toy.

3. Bargaining - The "If I do this, you'll do that" stage
Negotiation for the change in the situation is the objective of this stage.

Can I bribe and get myself on passed list ??? You could have heard that atleast once in your life when your friend's have failed examinations. Dumped cases - I will quit smoking, I will quit drinking, I will quit doing this, I will quit doing that .. just come back to my life. When people are lost, the very common dialogue you heard from old people is .. "Why him ... why not me ???" They really want to bribe themselves for the lost person's life just coz, it won't happen ;)

4. Depression - The "It happened" stage
Realization of the fact happens in this stage. People do realize that whatever is happened is truth.

Damn, I should apply for the exam again. Man, Its pain. I can't work so hard again. Not again !!! Dumped cases - Long beard, bottle in hands, poetry on lips, face in heart, tears on eyes, suicide as an option, depression as whole. People who lost loved ones - Crying; lots of crying. Nothing else. Same as kids who lost toys.

5. Acceptance - The "Its over. What next ?" stage
Changes accepted. Points noted. Everything's over. Yes, its already out of control What should I do now ?

Okay, Now, I've to apply for the exam again. When's the exam date ? I should start preparing well for the exam atleast this time. Dumped cases - She is gone, but I'm not. I really should find someone else who wont be such a bad bch to leave me. That babe looks great. Will she be a good choice ? God, wish me all the best. Dead people are dead. They are lucky that they are dead. What's the plan for tomorrow ? That old toy is gone. Now, DAD !! I want a new Play Station 3 !!!

What ever Grove wrote about Crisis points and how companies deal with is true to core even in our personal lives. Things do happen like this. Just the fact is that, people with higher Intelligence Quotient and lesser Emotional quotient traverse through the above five stages faster than the others.

7 responses:

Tranquil Tide said...

Good one Karthik. After I've read the post, if I recall my crisis moments, I find myself going thru these phases.

When u say a more IQ and less EQ person transits faster thru these phases, is there anywhere mentioned in the book what he means my "Faster".

K said...

I'm happy that I made one of my PhAntom readers feel free to comment finally.

Well, that more IQ and less EQ is my addition to the theory. when I mentioned "Faster", it is nothing but a comparative adjective there. I took 5 years to transit through those phases for one crisis situation and I took hardly 5 hours for another.

Tranquil Tide said...

5 years..that's really long and I believe u should have a very strong reason for it ... was that about ur brother

K said...

Do you know me in person ??

S_a_t_y_A said...

Excellent Articulation of tipping points one has to go to...

have added you to my blogroll mate...

K said...

Thanks Mate

Anonymous said...

dude a serious doubt... Y r u inclined more into these things now a days? Come lets njoi Europe...just take a break. :)

U kno Who


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